Lone Wolf
by ScaramoucheJay
Summary: And I don't want the world to see me, 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand, But when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am... Will Remus always be alone? Or can someone accept him the way he is... (One Shot)


Lone Wolf  
  
Disclaimer: Do not own Remus and co, they are JK Rowlings, and the song belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls.  
  
And I'd give up forever to touch you  
  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
  
And I don't want to go home right now  
  
He was watching her. He always watched her. Never spoke to her, never touched her. He just watched. From the shadows of the Griffindor common room, Remus Lupin always watched. How could he ever hope to be near her, when he was what he was, and she. she was what she was.  
  
And all I can taste is this moment  
  
And all I can breathe is your life  
  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
  
I just don't want to miss you tonight  
  
She smiled at him. A real genuine, wondering smile. Remus hastily blushed and looked down at his book. It was his charms homework, but so far he had read the first paragraph nine times, and he still couldn't remember what it said. He could feel her looking at him. Her eyes burnt holes in the top of his head, and he immediately felt self-conscious. Could she tell? Had she worked him out? The thought of his secret made his stomach turn to ice and his jaw clench. Why did it have to be him? Why did he have to hide this secret?  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
He looked up again. The coast was clear. The common room was empty of students. The Hogsmede trip had called them all away to spend their money on sugar quills and butter beers. He had told James, Sirius and Peter that he hadn't felt up to it. They didn't argue. They knew it was nearly 'that time'. He walked cautiously over to the place she had been sitting with James and Sirius. Remus sat tentively down and tried to imagine he had been sitting with her too, laughing and joking and talking. He so often wished he was more like Sirius, handsome and confident, and occasionally just that little bit cocky. Or that he was like James, clever and funny, with that charming smile. He sighed. He doubted he would ever tell her the truth. What he felt and who he really was. It would be a miracle if he ever plucked up the courage to talk to her directly, with out turning into a walking, talking beetroot.  
  
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
  
When everything feels like the movies  
  
And you bleed just to know you're alive  
  
He sighed in frustration and snapped his Charms book shut. He looked down angrily at the scars on his arms from his last transformation. He grimaced. They were beginning to heal, but there would just be new ones there next week. He traced his finger along one of the scars deep in thought. He was so deep in thought he did not hear someone enter the common room. "Remus? Are you okay?"  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
It was her. Her voice was behind his shoulder and her breath was tickling the back of his neck. He shut his eyes and breathed deeply to calm his nerves? What could he say to her? He tried to think what Sirius would say, something witty and clever to make her smile and feel special. But instead all he could mutter was "yeah, I'm okay." "Are you sure?" Bracing himself he turned around to look her in the eye. "As I can ever be." She smiled gently and glanced down at his arm, a look of horror crossing her face. "How did you do that?" She gently took his arm and brushed her finger over the marks.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
He shut his eyes and said it. "I'm a werewolf." He waited for the gasp, for the scream, for the 'yeah, right', but it didn't come. Opening one eye cautiously, he looked at her and she smiled at him. "That would explain a lot." She stroked her fingers over his arm again, and Remus looked at his foot, ashamed of even being in her presence. He didn't deserve this kindness. He didn't believe this kindness. Maybe she thought he was just fooling around. He looked up at her ready to tell her he was serious, but he never got that far. She put a single finger to his lips, before gently leaning forward. She kissed him.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
Remus sat bolt upright in his bed. It was night. He was alone. It was a dream. Glancing around the dormitory he could see that the others were all blissfully asleep. He could guess what they were dreaming about. Happy things. Girls and Quidditch. He sighed and panted slightly. It was just a dream.  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
The dream. The dream he had been having for so many nights now. That someone would accept him, warts and all. That she would accept him. But it was just a dream. He would never be able to tell anyone else that he was a werewolf. That he was different. How could they accept it?  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
But that was all Remus wanted. For someone to know, understand, not care. He wanted her to know who he really was. But how could he tell her? How could he tell anyone? He sighed deeply and rolled over, staring intently at the ceiling above his four-poster bed. His eyes prickled, but there was no point fighting it. He knew the tears wouldn't come. He was too bitter to cry about it. Sighing again, he shut his eyes and waited for sleep to take him over again. But that niggling question was still in the back of his mind. Would he always be alone?  
  
I just want you to know who I am 


End file.
